When my friends, family and I are reminiscing wedding memories, the same 5 stories always seem to be told. We laugh and cringe and sigh at the things we have witnessed together over the years. I decided, these stories needed to be shared, as to ensure others don’t become “that girl/guy” at so-in-so’s wedding.
Our #5… Don’t overdo it on make-up, hair and/or clothes. We all know that a wedding is a great place to meet other single people. We all get dressed up to celebrate with the happy couple, but there is a such thing as “too much.” It is a wedding, after all, not a night out at the club with the girls! A friend of ours brought a date to a wedding once, and this girl showed up looking like Snooki from Jersey Shore. We were all taking secret pictures of her and posting them on our Facebook pages. To this day, we ask our friend how “Snooki” is.
Our #4… Ladies, never wear a white dress to a wedding. If you’re a bridesmaid make sure you don’t try to out do the bride to be. It’s her special day not yours! This may seem to be common sense, but no. We’ve seen it. At a family member’s wedding, the bride’s cousin wore a white floor-length, strapless, dress with a beaded top. She was mistaken for the bride by a member of the catering crew.
Our #3… If your baby starts crying during the ceremony, please get up and take that child away if the fit can’t be subsided quickly. We attended the wedding of a friend a few years ago, where someone in the chapel allowed their child to scream and cry through the entire vows. More people mentioned that at the reception than the fact that the priest had the hiccups.
Our #2...Never, under any circumstances, give spontaneous toasts after a few drinks. We often laugh till we cry imitating a friend’s step mother’s, unplanned, toast to her at her wedding. The reception had been in fill swing for about 2 hours, and the bride’s step mother had been taking advantage of the open bar with multiple Long Islands and a few shots. She ended up getting her hands on the microphone, somehow, and proceeded to sob and cry telling the bride how happy she was for her. It was as though the record skipped when she said, “You deserve this so much. Ever since I found out you were molested by Uncle Jay, I have prayed you’d find happiness and build your own life.” Needless to say, Uncle Jay didn’t stay long after the emotional toast. We still refer to the stepmom as “wedding killer,” and open bars are always reconsidered now.
Our #1…Never, never, never go to a wedding sick. There is always a lot of hugging, handshaking and touching at weddings. Love is in the air. It’s unbelievable how flu germs from one person can travel in wedding reception. The germs spread even easier if it is a buffet-style catered event. We still refer to a family member’s wedding as “The Outbreak of 09,” and we still call the sick person “carrier monkey.” A week or so after this wedding, probably 30% of the guests had the flu. Everyone was cursing the name of the girl who was sniffling and coughing all over the buffet.